Thursday, April 18, 2013

30 Days: "Cry"

Last year, I participated in a writing challenge at Throwing Up, that stretched my writing and taught me a lot. One of our assignments was to write a very short piece of fiction. For me, creating a story in 200 words is daunting, 100 nearly impossible. 

However, this exercise is great practice in making every word matter. I encourage you to try creating a story using only 100 to 200 words. Here's my story at 196 words:

Cry by Rebecca Birkin

Rulekeepers climb our hill.

I drop from the lookout tree to our hut thatches. Flat on the rooftop, I whisper Cress a warning.

Back when Citidoctor first brought his pain-freedom shot Cress and I still played at baby games. He stood on the brick remnants of the village square, loud voice denouncing pain’s curse. But our mams knew better. When the villagers queued up for Citidoctor’s injection, they hid us in the willows, begging our silence.

Citidoctor gave the shot. And took childbirth with it.

Cress and I promised we’d hide our still-felt pain. Lying silent inside the shuttered hut, Cress keeps her promise.

Can I keep mine? I could fight, one man and knife against three, but they carry guns. When Rulekeeper boots stomp our wildflowers, my knife slits my palm. I jump to stand before the men, waving my blood-stripe in their faces. I keen loud, hoping to cloak the tiny wail coming from the hut.

As they drag me back down the path they made in the wild grass, the Rulekeepers hear only me, a painbreaker.

Cress and her secret are safe. So is the baby Citilaws couldn’t stop.

 Pain’s aftertaste is sweet.


Julie Daines said...

Very well done. Lots of emotion and turmoil packed into those 196 words. This was awesome!

Scott said...

Very good! I've tried this myself, and it's definitely not easy.

Marion C Steiger said...

So much said in so few words. You've thrown out a big challenge.

Celesta said...

Tight writing and great tension, Becca! It's nice to read your writing again. I hope to see you at WIFYR.