30 Days: "My Awe-Inspiring, Needs Acquiring, Brilliant Picture Book"

My Awe-Inspiring, Needs Acquiring, Brilliant Picture Book
by Liz Norcross

I wrote a picture storybook. It's really good, I swear.
It printed out, I picked a route, and passed it round to share.

I took it to an artist pal, a man named Robert N.
He first said, "Wow!" then asked me, "How'd you get my name again?"

I showed it next to Shannon Hale whose "Goose Girl" is superb,
And who from birth has wanted Firth. She said, "I don't do blurbs."

Now Brandon Mull, he reigns supreme in stories of the fey,
He read it twice and gave advice. "If I were you, I'd pray."

Rick Walton's sage remarks would surely save me from the slush.
"Poor rhyming scheme. Didactic theme. Bad adverbs made me blush."

Ken Baker's monster liked it but Ken felt it needed twists.
Agreed Ann Cannon with Kris Landon, "Pacing is the Pits".

The Whitney winner, J.D. George, she winced and called it sap.
Librarian Hall, who's read it all, she winced and called it crap.

"It sucked," was Meyer's attitude. Guy Francis drew a blank.
Triathlete Mette thought it petty. Carol thought it stank.

I passed around my picture book `til now, without a doubt,
My listserv mates will soon debate-
And then they'll kick me out.

copyrighted 2009 by Liz Norcross; author retains all rights to the story