Thursday, April 9, 2009

30 Days: "The Duel of the Leaf Blowers"

The Duel of the Leaf Blowers
by Elise Rasband

Mr. Hanker had the perfect lawn. Every inch of it was neatly trimmed and finely weeded. In the center was Mr. Hanker’s most prized petunia.

Rick, the neighbor, had the perfect junk yard. It had the finest dirt around with the fanciest lawn ornaments such as his broken down Cadimac and his 1977 Fankhauser Stallion. When Mr. Hanker walked home from work he would cross the street just to avoid Rick’s lawn. Mr. Hanker nearly had enough money to buy a fence.

One afternoon Mr. Hanker was using his highly efficient turbo mower. He was trimming his grass to the perfect height. When he finished he noticed a corner that was hard to get to, so he pulled out his sheers and sat down on the grass while he trimmed this last corner, by hand. After it was just so he began to sweep his driveway and then he was ready for the final touch, the leaf blower.

As Mr. Hanker neared the edge of his lawn he noticed Rick working on his lawn ornaments. Mr. Hanker was only a foot away, but continued blowing. Leaves and twigs circled through the air floating perfectly towards Rick and his newest lawn addition. One seemingly harmless twig landed directly on the car, scratching the shiny new paint job.

Rick was not happy. Rick stood up so fast that he bumped his arm on his car. He was mad, really mad. But he didn’t say a word. He got into his only working truck and drove away. Mr. Hanker kept blowing.

The next week Mr. Hanker was out trimming his lawn again with the greatest care. After he finished it was time for the blower. He began in the back corner and worked his way towards the edge of his lawn. Suddenly he noticed Rick. Rick had fixed one of his lawn ornaments, it roared to life as Mr. Hanker came closer. He cranked up the power and made his way towards the edge of his lawn. Mr. Hanker glared at Rick, Rick snarled back. That’s when the Leaf Blower Duel began.

Rick’s engine had power. He pressed on the gas, causing the fallen leaves straight go straight toward Mr. Hanker. Mr. Hanker’s blower was the Turbo 6000, he blew them back, along with that twig that had found its way back into his lawn.

Rick didn’t give. The muffler roared as it picked up his dead trees, the fallen leaves, and the twig and sent them spiraling towards Mr. Hanker and his perfect lawn. Mr. Hanker was not about to quit.

He blew his perfectly laid flower bed, Rick’s dead trees, the fallen leaves, and the twig back at Rick. Rick pressed on the gas even more and launched a stack of old tires, Mr. Hanker’s flower bed, Rick’s dead trees, the fallen leaves and the twig straight to the flustering Mr. Hanker.

Mr. Hanker cranked his blower up four notches and torpedoed his newly planted Holly hedge, the old stack of tires, his flower bed, Rick’s dead trees, the fallen leaves, and the twig straight to the yellow crab grass.

That’s when Rick turned his car into first gear picking up his 1977 Fankhauser Stallion*, *the newly planted Holly hedge,* *the stack of old tires, his flower bed, Rick’s dead trees, the fallen leaves, and the twig, which landed perfectly upon Mr. Hanker’s most prized possession, his

Mr. Hanker was devastated. Mr. Hanker was not about to give up, so he aimed the leaf blower at a nearby cloud causing it to spin so quickly it grew into a giant tornado. The tornado picked up Mr. Hanker’s house, the rusty 1977 Fankhauser Stallion, the newly planted Holly Hedge, the stack of old tires, Mr. Hanker’s flower bed, Rick’s dead trees, the fallen leave, the twig, AND
the rest of Rick’s yard, carport, and house.

The tornado seemed to heave, sending the contents flying through town. Rick and Mr. Hanker stood side by side in shock.

Rick began to laugh. Mr. Hanker began to cry. Rick was laughing so hard he began to cry too. Mr. Hanker was crying so hard he began to laugh. Suddenly they were laughing and crying together.

In the middle of their plots, Rick’s house had landed right on the middle of Mr. Hanker’s house, creating a second floor. So together they began to rebuild their lawn. Their lawn became well known through town as the most creative work of art around. Old cars became flower beds for some of the finest flowers. Trees were decorated with hanging lawn tools, and a leaf
lay in the center of a perfectly laid rock pathway.

PS Rick- when I wrote this for class last semester, I didn't even think about the fact that your name was Rick... so... you may or may not have a truck as a lawn ornimate, but truly this wasn't a "Rick Walton" Rick..

Elise Rasband (C) 2009 all rights reserved to the author.


Krisitn Hayes said...

Funny because it's so true. This must be based on an actual event. I actually passed up buying a beautiful house because it was next door to "Rick". Something all of us can appreciate!

Yamile said...

That's a very funny story! My neighbor used to be a Rick, and wasn't fun.