Sometimes, the best children’s writing comes straight from
children. I teach 5th Grade at an elementary school in Lehi, so for
my 30 Days 30 Stories contribution, I present to you a story written by my
students. We are reviewing for our end of year tests, and this was a short
activity in which we reviewed story structure and similes. Please be kind:
story structure and similes were the only
thing we focused on, so if most of the story sounds like it was written in 20
minutes by 11-year-olds, it was.
Dr. Swag and the Quest for a New House
It was a
normal afternoon at 2pm, and Dr. Swag was running around his house being a
goofball, like parents do when their children are at school. On this particular
afternoon, he had some matches, and was admiring how the flame looked as red as
a fire hydrant.
Everything
was normal, until –
“Nooooooooooo!”
screamed Dr. Swag. He accidentally dropped a burning match on his couch! He
felt like he had dropped the game-winning ball during the ninth inning.
Soon, his whole house was up in
flames, and Dr. Swag was standing outside on the lawn, crying like a lost child
in the mall. What would his children do when they came home from school? He
knew he had to find a new house.
Everything was fine for the first
half-hour of his journey. He was walking in a forest, and the trees were as
tall as skyscrapers. They were so tall, in fact, that he didn’t notice he
walked straight into Bigfoot’s lair!
Unlike the stereotype, Bigfoot’s
feet weren’t actually that big. He wore a size 13, the same size Michael Jordan
wears. But still, Bigfoot was as tall as the trees, which as you remember are
as tall as skyscrapers, so that’s pretty tall. Bigfoot was angry like a kid
that gets an apple when trick-or-treating.
“How dare you enter my lair! I’ll
throw you to the top of these trees!” he threatened. “Nobody comes back from
that in one piece!”
“Please, Mr. Bigfoot, I’m sorry. I
promise I’ll just leave,” pleaded Dr. Swag.
Just then, as Dr. Swag was about to
become as mushy as oatmeal, he heard another sound in the forest. I’m saved! he thought, and then realized
what was making the sound.
A big, hairy troll! The troll was
stinky like a teenage boy after football practice, thick like a grand piano,
and mean like a teacher who won’t let you have extra recess. Dr. Swag knew he
had no chance of making it out alive.
“I’ll eat you up!” growled the
troll.
“No, I’ll eat you up!” growled Bigfoot.
Both the troll and Bigfoot were
running toward Dr. Swag with speed like a cheetah. Dr. Swag knew it was all
over. He was about to be eaten by a troll and torn into pieces by Bigfoot. To
make matters worse, he still had no home for his children. He felt sadder than
Christmas morning with no presents. He began to cry, which parents do
sometimes, even when they pretend not to. This was his darkest moment.
When all hope was lost and he was
about to be eaten, he got an idea. “Wait!” he screamed. “You should fight each
other. Whoever wins gets to kill me!”
So Bigfoot and the troll started
fighting each other. They fought with the strength of lions and the energy of
kindergarteners. Eventually, they had each other in headlocks, and they were
concentrating so hard on the fight that they didn’t see the huge cliff they
were on! They tumbled off the cliff together, and that was the end of Bigfoot
and the troll.
People began rushing towards Dr.
Swag. They were townspeople who lived in the woods.
“You saved us! You saved us from
the troll and Bigfoot! We’ve been scared of them for years! How can we ever
repay you?”
“Well,” said Dr. Swag, “do you have
any spare houses? Mine burned down today.”
It turns out they did have a spare
house. It was a mansion with a pool, a hot tub, and ten big-screen TVs. Dr.
Swag and his children moved into the mansion and spent the rest of the
afternoon playing XBOX Live. It was as happy as a fairytale ending.
Brooke writes at silverliningtheblog.com
