Silence is Golden

How do you effectively convey the concept of silence in your writing? I mean just the idea of writing down silence seems to contradict the idea of it. Writing words for silence? You can't very well leave a long passage of blank space in your manuscript. So how do you do it?

You can do it simply:
   "it was quiet."
   "no one said a word."

You can try cliches:
   "you could hear a pin drop."
   "it was as quiet as a mouse."

You can try a James-Michener approach to the quiet and offer a long detailed narrative of the plethora of sounds heard in the absence of talking or human noise.

In one of my short stories, I needed to mark the passage of time and the quiet in a relatively short amount of space. I started off by simply stating time had passed and my character was bored. That approach lacked a lot in connection and intensity. The boredom was palpable! The silence was agonizing! He had just been dropped off by his father without even so much as a backward glance. He was desperately waiting for his mother to come when she was not coming. Saying the obvious weakened the scene and undermined its power. I ended up having my character count passing cars. It was the only sound. It was the only movement in his life. It was the only thing he had to do. With the help of some ellipses (. . . ), I was able to interject the passing of time by an ever-increasing amount of numbers. . . 46,47, 48 . . . 73, 74.... In a short amount of text, the reader felt more intensely the agonizing passage of time and silence for the main character.

What are some other ways that you can convey silence through the written word?

Sensory Details

By: Julie Daines        

When I was a kid, my mom had this crazy wallpaper in one of our bathrooms. It was black and white, and covered in pictures of cartoon people poised by outhouses—all kinds of outhouses, in trees, on beaches, in the woods.

Whenever I went in that bathroom, I’d stare at the wallpaper until I noticed something different, some tiny detail that I hadn’t seen before. The older I got, the harder I had to look, but eventually, I always found something.

One of my main characters in my current work in progress is blind from birth. It’s been a real challenge trying to “see” the world from her point of view. I’ve blindfolded myself just to see how long I could go without using my vision. It hasn’t been very long. I had a terrible hair day and typed several paragraphs with my fingers on the wrong keys.

But I did learn to pay attention to the other senses, and how those other senses make me feel. So, take a second and learn to notice.

Close your eyes in the shower. What does the water feel like when it hits your back? Your face? Does it relax you? Or hurt? (I’ve stayed in a friend’s house where the shower pressure was so strong the water stung. We had to cover the showerhead with a sock to diffuse the powerful spray.)

What does it sound like when you unload the dishwasher? Or start your car on these freezing cold mornings? What can you hear in bed at night? From my house, I can hear the train whistle—but only at night. It comforts me.

Take a bite of a food that you hate and focus on why it is you hate it? Is it the texture? Or the taste? Or does it remind you of hospital food? Close your eyes and run your hands over your desk. Or over your family’s faces. I’ve done that a lot recently, and it’s an interesting experience.

It’s these details that add life to our stories. We all know this, but sometimes, when we’re writing we get bogged down in the plot and our characters, and miss out on the opportunity for some great sensory details. 

These details gain value as they often become the source of symbolism and themes, and carry unifying motifs throughout the story. A splinter in the finger that grows, festers, and is finally removed. The smell of mom's bacon and eggs luring the family out of bed--until the mom dies, taking that smell with her. The touch and swish of a girl's first silk party dress becomes a symbol of her coming of age.

Using the Senses in Writing

I'm currently reading, "Make a Scene" by Jodan E. Rosenfeld, and in one chapter, she describes the importance, and effectiveness of using the senses in writing. I'm going to summarize some of her points here, which I found immensely helpful.

"...the senses are a part of everyday life, so they should, in fact, be blended into your scenes as an integral part of the stage you set."

Sight: "The more you can place the readers inside the vision and point of view of your characters and remove the Iof them seeing, the more directly the reader will interact with sights, smells and other senses in the scene."

For example, rather than saying:
"Celeste saw..."

You say:
"The romantic, red field was blanketed with yellow-centered poppies."

So, rather than using the act of seeing, you just get straight to the point!

Touch: "In fact, a character won't get more than a couple of minutes into the day before he begins to interact with the world by touching things."

Touch should be one of the most often used senses. There are many ways of touching--nervous, fidgeting, practical and strategic touch, and, of course, personal touch. I know very few people who don't do something with their hands when nervous or excited. Touch will help reveal a lot about your characters.

Smell: "If you need to go back in time to a scene from your character's plast and you can use the smell of peaches at a grocery store to drop Becky into the peach orchard where she first met Eduardo, the love of her life, by all means use it."

Smell should also be used often, in nearly every scene. It can be used to identify the presence of another character, reveal the difference between hero (smells like roses) and villain (smells like sewer), and evoke memory.

Taste: "Taste provides a fabulous opportunity for feelings and interactions between your characters to arise. Through the simple act of lifting a fork to mouth, your characters can come to epiphanies, exalt in simple pleasures, and enact conflicts that enliven your scenes."

Food is an important part of our lives and it can reveal much about your character. Don't skip meals or you miss out on an opportunity to show us something about your character and their relationships with others. For example, depressed characters can't finish meals, a lover might spend hours preparing meals for their loved one, or a mother's dinner might fail because she has a lot on her mind.

How do you use the senses in your writing? What is your favorite example of using senses in writing?