Is they is, or is they are?

by Scott Rhoades

A few days ago, one of my friends asked the following on Facebook:

How would you properly say, "If you or your child are (is)....?"

 The simple answer is that you go with the verb form that applies to the noun or pronoun nearest the verb. You are, but your child is, so you use is. But it's one of those things where, even if you know the rule, if you look at it long enough you might start to question it.


The or makes it singular. If you used and, the verb would be are, because you and your child become  a plural noun phrase. 

Let's try a similar sentence, in the spirit of the current season:

If your son or his parakeet is being eaten by ravenous leeches...

The answer verb is still is, but I'll bet this one made some of you wonder. Throw in an are and I'll bet at least a few of you will feel less sure about the correct verb, especially if you read it out loud.

On the other hand:

If your son or his parakeets are being dissolved by the globulous acid monster...

Order matters. If you put the kid first, you'd get: 

If your child or you are going to dig up the bodies in the back yard for dinner...

This next example is where it starts to feel tricky:

If your sons or their guppy is being gulped down by toothless witch babies...


It's easy to question the simple noun-closest-to-the-verb explanation here. It feels wrong, because one of the subjects is plural. As it turns out, it actually is wrong, at least according to some grammarians, although leniency is often granted in a case like this. Or maybe the way to look at it is both ways are right. Ish. As we all know, any rule has exceptions. According to many grammarians, the closest-noun rule does not apply if either of the subject nouns is plural. Whether I use is or are, it doesn't feel more right than if I use the other. This is a case where I would rewrite the sentence because even the right verb form has an incorrect feel to it. But that's not easy in this example. If I had written:

If your sons or the guppy is being gulped down by toothless witch babies...

I'd switch the nouns around, putting the plural closest to the verb, which makes it feel better:

If the guppy or your sons are being gulped down by toothless witch babies...

However, that ownership-showing their might be important in the sentence. In that case, you're either going to offend the a-plural-in-either-position-requires-are crowd or the closest-to-the-verb gang. I would look for a way to rewrite surrounding sentences that allows you to choose a less contentious construct.

Whenever you are faced with a problem like this, read it aloud. As a writer, you most likely have a good feel for the language and so you can usually rely on the feel of the sentence, on your instinct. If you're still not sure, look it up. However, if a problem feels that sticky, it usually means that rewriting should be considered. Even if you wrote it correctly, a sentence that requires a tricky grammar rule is likely to feel wrong or confusing to some readers, which will pull them out of your story, even if only for a second. You don't want to do that, so opt for a construct that flows naturally and is clear and easily understood without requiring the reader to think about grammar, and without creating a speed bump that interrupts the flow of the story.

From The Mailbag

The last time I opened my mailbag on this blog the world changed, so I thought I'd do it again. Regular readers (and if you're irregular, they have medications for that now) may remember that my mailbag contains letters I would have received had people known they could write to me to ask me important questions of the day. If people only knew how much I could enlighten them and how much joy I could bring to their lives, the bag would be full, so I'll pretend it it is and ask myself the questions they should have asked. Oh, and if that credit card company realized how much most writers make, their application wouldn't be the only piece of actual mail I got today.

So, without further ado, here goes.

Dear Mr. Ropes,
My friends tell me often that I tend to repeat redundant phrases again and again when I write. I don't know what that means. I try to completely eradicate those pesky pests, but they keep telling me the exact same thing every single time we meet together. I think they are over-exaggerating. Can you help me by spelling out in detail what they mean?
Thank you,
Phil from Roosevelt

Dear P from R:
This is a common problem, one many writers struggle with. You've come to the right place for help, let me assure you. Let's look at your letter, which includes several redundant phrases. "Repeat redundant (whatever) again and again" is almost too obvious to mention, but I guess it's too late for that now. Let's keep looking. Eradicate means to do away with. If something is eradicated, it no longer exists. So there's no reason to put completely before eradicate, which is complete by nature. Likewise, pests are always pesky, exact and same mean the exact same thing (couldn't resist), adding single to every doesn't really add anything except maybe some emphasis, people who meet are always together, and all exaggerations are over-stated, so you can leave off the over. Finally, if something is spelled out, it is already demonstrated in detail.

You can find a lengthy list of many of these phrases online, at http://grammar.about.com/od/words/a/redundancies.htm.

Hey Scott-Dog,
I want to be a writer. I know can put grammarical sentences together good and I liked the book I read back in 4th Grade. My problems is, I can't never come up with a good idea for a story. How do us writers get our ideas?
Lenny from Price

Dear Lenny,
Two things. OK three. First off, if my wife hears me being referred to as a dog, she'll make me stay out back. See, she's a cat person. She doesn't mind dogs, but a dog in a house full of cats is an invitation for trouble. So let's knock off the Scott-Dog business, OK?

Next, ideas. Writers are constantly bombarded with ideas. Sometimes they come in dreams. Sometimes they come from our life experiences. We might see a picture or a news story that triggers an idea, or hear an unusual snippet of conversation. Traveling is another good way to generate ideas, because when you are somewhere new, you usually pay closer attention to your surroundings, opening yourself up to the idea fairy. (Note, Lenny, that the Idea Fairy doesn't actually exist. This is just an expression.) To get an idea of where some writers find inspiration, check out this blog post and be sure to read the comments.

Finally, I recommend to any new writer (and this is by no means meant as a personal criticism of you), that he refamiliarize himself with the rules of grammar and good writing. Many of us start writing seriously long after leaving school, and can use a refresher. There are many ways to do this, but websites such as http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/ are a good place to start.

Scott Sweetie,
I was going to do your weekly laundry today but I noticed there were only five pairs of undies for seven days. Sunday and Tuesday are missing. I even looked under your bed. (You should do something about those dust mice.) Did you forget to change, Honey?"
Love, Mom

Mo-o-o-m, how many times have I told you? Not at the office, OK? Geez, mo-o-o-om. Seriously?
Love you, though,
Scott
PS:
Can we have Pesketti with hot dog chunks for dinner? I love Pesketti with hot dog chunks.

Dear Ms. Rosie,
You see all and know all. As do I. Except for one thing I don't see often enough. I have read many articles about what I should include in the query for my 72,000-word fictional picture story, but I don't hardly ever see anything about what I shouldn't say. Any tips?
Leslie from Draper

Dear Leslie,
We've never actually met, have we? You seem to make a couple incorrect assumptions about me, although you have the see all and know all thing pretty much right.

You are in luck. As it happens, I (coincidentally, can you believe it?) just read a blog post on this very (this very: see first question, above) subject. I refer you once again to the Books and Such blog, which is quickly becoming one of my go-to writing blogs.

Overusing my Favorite!! Punctuation!!

I love exclamation marks! I LOVE them! I use them! I pepper my emails and Facebook posts with them!! I can't stand to not use them!  Am I overusing them?!? Probably!

I read an article that said you should use no more than 2 to 3 exclamation points for every 100,000 words of prose. 2 to 3?!? Per 100,000 words?!? That's like tying my writing hands behind my back! GAWK!!

Is it possible that I can write with such an appalling lack of enthusiasm for my subject? Can I really write an email response:
    "Thank you for your help." instead of my preferred "Thank you for your help!"

Doesn't a person need some enthusiastic thanks? It seems so glib and glum to say "thanks" instead of "thanks!" or the even better "THANKS!!"

Is it possible to update my status with:
    "My application to school is finished." instead of "My application to school is finished!!"

The answer, sadly, is yes. But it begs the question:

How much enthusiasm is *too* much? (sorry, * * are my favorites too).

F. Scott Fitzgerald cautioned: "Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own jokes."

...... oh...... well, true confessional here, I *do* laugh at my own jokes. Sometimes I can't even tell a joke without laughing at myself.

But am I doing myself a disservice by my overuse? Absolutely!

In the words of one blogger:
Too many exclamation points dizzies the eye and weakens the words.

Even in this modern age of e-communication, we can still be mindful of the appropriate, and moderate, use of punctuation. Obviously, what we use in our manuscripts can differ greatly from our casual everyday typing on blogs, emails, FB, Twitter, etc., and while we can hold ourselves to a lower standard of punctuation, we should still be mindful of minding our colons, semi-colons, apostrophes, and the ever-popular exclamation point.

(!)

Who or Whom?

I found this post at writerbynature.com and I thought this was a good way to determine which to use -- who or whom?

This is one of those tricky rules that if you get it wrong, it makes you sound stuffy or pompous, but every once in a while you run across a place where you need to use the word whom, so I found this really helpful:

Who/Whom falls into my pesky words category.

I spent years reaching for my style manuals whenever confronted with these words. Until I learned a couple of neat tricks.

In the past, I might have told you to use who when you mean the person taking action and whom when you mean the person is having something done to them.

But there’s an even easier way to deal with who and whom:

Try substituting him or he (her/she) for who or whom.

For example: Who/Whom do you admire? Test: Do you admire him? Do you admire he?

Do you admire him? Is correct and as luck would have it, him and whom both end with the letter m.

Who/Whom broke the vase? Test: Him broke the vase. He broke the vase.

The answer: He broke the vase.

Try practicing with these sentences:

Who/Whom stepped in the mud?
Who/Whom do you trust?
Who/Whom is going to the concert?
To who/whom should I address this letter?

Use this test when in doubt and you will be able to see whether who or whom is the right word. (~ jj_murphy The Writing Life)

I really like this, since I have always used a similar trick to decide when to use I or me when saying for example "My mother and I went to the store." Instead of "My mother and me . . " If you can drop off everything and say I went to the store, then you would use the '___ and I' form. But if you say, for example "Give that to your father and I right now!" "Give that to I" doesn't work, so in this case it should be "Give that to your father and me . . ." (I once had to correct the principal at the first school I taught at in front of my whole class because he came in and told them wrong . . . I don't know why he was doing it to begin with, but wow! LOL talk about choosing my words carefully!)