Writing is generally considered a low risk profession. But there are several serious--and even terminal--diseases to be on the lookout for. Here are a few that affect me.
1. Obsessive Compulsive Editing Disorder (OCED). I edit everything from the back of cereal boxes to notes from my kids to whatever novel I'm reading. I wish I could turn it off, but there doesn't seem to be a switch. It's almost impossible for me to read a book without a pencil in hand to add a comma here or delete a word there. I hate it. I just want to enjoy the story.
2. Unintentional Analytical Plot Predicting Syndrome. (Also known as Beat Beating.) I can't watch a movie or TV show without analyzing the plot and trying to predict the ending. My husband asks me why I even bother watching any more because I always know what's going to happen.
3. Author Attention Distraction Disorder (AADD, also frequently referred to as "crazy"). I'm constantly distracted. Not by shiny toys and squirrels, but by everything inside my head. "Mom, this is really important. I have to have one hundred..." One hundred. Yes! That's it! What if my main character lives a hundred miles away? That would put enough strain on the relationship to make the scene work better and lead right into the climax. But then the villain... "Mom? Did you hear me?" "What? Is someone talking to me?"
4. Blood Shot Twitchy Eye Syndrome. Some call it insomnia, when you wake up in the middle of the night because you just had this great idea and you can't go back to sleep because scenes and dialogue keep playing out over and over in your mind. Please just make it stop!
5. Acute Hyper-Friendlessness Complex (AKA: Loner's Disease). I've always been an introvert, but since I started writing, it's blossomed into an epidemic. A single person epidemic. How can I have time for friends when I have scenes to write, edits to make, and research to do. I've already got hoards of voices in my mind, why do I need more? Come on people! What's more important here? Real life or the fictional world I've created in my head?
What disease do you suffer for the sake of your art?
2 comments:
Haha this made me laugh out loud!
I'm totally with you on the first 2!
I feel like #1 is getting worse and worse for me over time. I miss being able to enjoy a book based solely on its STORY. I've always been distracted by grammatical errors, but now you can add plot holes, cliches, and about a million other things to that list. *Sigh*
And I predict every tv show and movie I watch. Luckily, my husband does, too.
Fun post! One of my AADD symptoms is that I can be talking to somebody about something important, at home or work, and I suddenly realize I'm paying more attention to their gestures, the way their lips move, the position and shape of their head, the way they change their vowels as they get excited, or any number of things that might turn out to be useful some day.
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